old ghosts

So, I suspect its the changing of the seasons, but I've been a little down lately.  I just lost a bit of this, so I am not sure how fresh the next paragraph will be... yikes.

A combination of low motivation, and unmet expectations, have made me whiny, and mad at myself, but also, I'm not sure what exactly brought this on, but it seems I have to go back and revisit every issue I have ever had with my childhood, and general self esteem. Its awesome.

But I whined about this a bit earlier, and then erased it, so you don't have to read it now, but it might be because I have been helping a friend deal with her divorce from someone who is dealing with addiction, and is selfish and manipulative. Plus, my friend is very codependent and well, I've been there, and its rough.

Now, enough about that, I am updating this on my new laptop. I got it from the cheap laptop place, and I think its going to be great. I might not actually need a laptop, but its going to be useful in the next month, for sure, as I try to write a play or two for my friend's new theatre, and I am applying for a job as an assistant to the business rep in my local.  We have had some difficulty in the recent past with the workload of our business rep, and since he is leaving in January, we would like to help him out and try to make the job not too onerous on the next guy.  I have been asked personally by our president to apply, so, I'll give it a shot. I might also apply for a props assistant job, but that hasn't been posted yet.

Its strange, but I might be a little sad because I need to start thinking of myself as a grown up, I tend to think of myself as a kid, and I think of women one of two years older as being much older than I, and women ten years younger as being my peers, I think this might be a disservice to myself somehow.

Anyway, I also signed up for NaNoWriMo... but I'll tell you more about that next month.