Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Eve.

Now is the time of reflection.... or looking forward.

or what...

2010 was a terrible year for me, although, in the terribleness there were bright spots.

I am cured at the moment, that's good. There is a lingering sense of panic left over from the panic they instill in you so you do what they want, that is not so good. There is also the knowledge that dying isn't something that happens just to other people, there is no getting out of it, and you might not have a bunch of time left. This year our local lost 2 people quite suddenly, and it sort of brings it home to then have a serious illness. Granted, although no one talks of it, you have a few years if you decide to do nothing at all, with breast cancer. On a gross, and slightly lighter note, there was this woman in Japan, who had my same type of tumor, and she ignored it, it got so large it ulcerated her skin, and she went to the Emergency Room, and that was the first time she had gone to the doctor for it. Mastectomy, radiation, and I think chemo, and she is fine, it wasn't even in her lymph nodes. They committed her for, not paying attention... or something.

So, I still have some residual panic, and fear of mortality, plus, I take hormone blockers, that make me achy and moody, I can make it not so terrible if I take magnesium, calcium, D3, and the B vitamins, if I forget, I get weepy and depressed, so, I'll talk to the Dr. about that in January. I'll also talk to her about the free massage thing... I don't think there is a convenient massage school, I also think I should go to the cancer support group, but I am so much better off, do they want to hear my whining?

Aside from all of that bullshit. Life is not so terrible, I have a few resolutions. diet and work out...what else... keep the apartment not disgusting... oh, and make sauerkraut, and cheese. The sauerkraut... well, I have to pay attention to it, so I have to try again... its not time consuming, it just takes time everyday, and I haven't been able to remember that, so I have to try again. the cheese... well, it takes hours and hours on the day, then after you apply wax, you wait, for at least three months. I think I will make one batch of cheese a month, next up is parmesian since that has to age for at least 12 months, then maybe little cheeses for gifts?

I know three pregnant people, plus two who didn't get presents last year because I was preoccupied, so that's 5 knitted things, plus ongoing socks, and now mittens, and some sweaters. I'll try to be better about posting photos. Because I have to knit so much, I have been uploading audiobooks to my computer, like a mad woman. Its my one huge grip that this is not easier to load into itunes, you should be able to click on something in a dialog box, and boom its an audio book. I also download my subscription for The Economist in audio, then I can listen while I do other things, and I joined audible.com. So, there will be lots to listen to, while I knit, and clean the apartment.

My most recent book listened to, was Lies My Teacher Told Me, some stuff was a shock, some stuff not so much, it made me really angry at Woodrow Wilson - now I lament where we could be now with race relations if we had not elected that racist bastard, and even wonder if Latin America would be better off and more democratic had he not been in office. and I keep thinking about A. T. Morgan who was elected to the state senate in Mississippi in 1870, then married a black woman from New York, and was re-elected. which makes me think of another book I uploaded, but haven't listened to yet... Passing Strange, about a man who was a fairly successful geologist or something, and met a woman and fell in love with her, but she was black and he was white and there were laws... so, he lied, and made up a false identity as a black pullman porter so they could get married. She found out from a letter he wrote from his deathbed on an expedition. Maybe its working for the Intiman, and we are all about breaking down the racial barriers, but... don't worry I also have two viking novels of plunder and mayhem, Crime and Punishment, Scarlet Letter, and a bunch of books by Mary Roach (Bonk, and Stiff) so, maybe I will need some light hearted stuff... hmmmm

Oh... so, what I have learned about uploading books onto my iTunes.
Insert cd.
Let it register.
Right click on cd, pick get info.
Make sure you like the artist, composer info, (I like to make sure this is the same for each disc) check the disc name, and add the disc number, add a 0 in front of a single digit, 01, select part of a compilation, and in genre type pick audiobook.
Next, press control A to select all tracks, and under the advanced tab, select join cd tracks.
Now Import cd.
After all the discs are imported, find them in you music library, you might think - I checked audiobook, why isn't it in audiobook, the answer is because Apple is stupid. I find it easiest to find the discs under artist, in the album picture view, it will be an generic picture with John Smith 12 albums, 12 songs (because we joined the tracks) right click on the icon, pick get info, under options, change media type to audiobook, check compilation, remember my place and skip when shuffling. When you hit ok, it will get whisked away to your audiobook file. If you forget to tell itunes its an audiobook before you import it, its too late... you can NEVER fix it. so...

On the next book I import, I will see if you can name the compilation before you send it to audiobooks. Making it a compilation seems to make all the albums group together in the audiobook file rather than be individual albums, which you would need to select each to add to your ipod. So, if you have a small ipod, and you want to import a large book, not checking compilation would make it possible to put only a few discs on your device at a time.

ok...
Im done... Happy New Year.
Gromek.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Summery winter salad

Kobucha salad

Kobucha is a Japanese pumpkin, and its flavor is similar to a honeydew melon, but very crunchy and orange.

the other day I made a salad with about
4 cups grated kobucha squash (peeled)
4 pears
and the juice of 4 limes

crisp and light, and using winter available stuff.

use less limes if you would like it more sweet.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

really really no cookie.

so, of course now I don't think I want to spend the money to go to Cali. its because I suck. and I spend too much money.

Anyway, just thinking about the holidays is depressing. blah.

um, so, we have been doing a little skit, A Scarlet Letter, here for a while, its pretty good, if not fantastic, its a bit short though, and its gotten a little boring to run, but its over in less than a week. After that, its two weeks of maintenance, not too thrilling, mostly cleaning, then, free, to call in my availability, and take work if its out there, not to worried about that, I have things to knit, and clean, last year I don't think I felt like I had much of a break. This year might be better. I hope. I need to sew some stuff, because I plan to revamp the fabric stash area, so, I can ferment things, and be a little less filthy in the apartment.

I will probably just sleep, though.

I think I have a little cancer PTSD, all the panic and worry resurfaces at odd times, and I think about dying, so, I have trouble falling asleep, then I am tired, and more susceptible to worry and panic. Then I get weepy. Its soooooo stupid. But when I am off contract I plan to go to a support group on tuesdays, at my hospital. I only bring it up here because this is a little bit anonymous, even though I know everyone who reads this, I don't bring it up in person, because #1, it makes my eyes leak or something... and I know I am being silly, plus, rationalization that will come from my friends, in a way to quickly make me feel better, will not make me feel better, but rather make me pretend to feel better. What I want to hear, from people who know, is it gets better.

One of the ways I learned not to bring up certain complaints of mine that will eventually get better, is by talking about the soreness I feel in the armpit, chest wall, shoulder area. I think its normal, albeit annoying. Its fine, if I am just doing nothing or just going about regular people activity, but my job involves some odd lifting and pulling, and there is some stiffness because I over protect the area unconsciencely or I did, by hunching my right shoulder. I am trying to stop that, and trying to massage scar tissue and muscle lumps, but its an incrementally slow process, and hurts both ways. I know it gets better though, its similar to my knee surgery, you have to stretch the tissues involved just past the point of discomfort and go a little bit further each time you can, after a long time it doesn't hurt anymore, and then you are done. Also annoying, is on my side under my arm if I apply pressure to my skin it feels like I am pinching it, I think this is nerve damage, and it might get better on its own, or I might have to have the plastic surgeon fix it.

complaining about these things fixes nothing, but is a release... I try not to be a big complainer, or at least I think I try not to, but sometimes, its more like a chance to let it go, but some of the people I would talk about it with just want to discuss solutions, and there are none that I am not doing now. so...

end of whining... for today.

I invented a raw recipe, I think I will post it tomorrow.

Friday, November 12, 2010

bad Blogger. No Cookie.

whoops, I haven't blogged in almost a week, not much has happened. the computer got a virus, which it still has, can seem to shake it, its worse on my roommate's account, so, I think its an internet explorer thing, I use fire fox.... I might have to actually pay for protection.... er.... but I am not giving up yet.

I joined bleeping computer, so I might get help there, or learn more about this poop. boo. but learning is good, bleeping computer has a bunch of tutorials and things on how to find out what programs are vulnerable to this sort of thing.

um, other than that, life is well life.

The theatre seems less stressed out, and more in control than before, and rumor has it they are current with pension, benefits and union dues. I haven't check with anyone on the IA international benefits plan to make sure if this is true, (they have an online account they can check) but they say its true.

uh, Scarlet Letter will not be extended until the 12th, it will close on the 5th, its a good show, but not spectacular, and its unfortunate. So in consequence we will have two weeks on contract after the show closes, I might be the only one, but I do not have two weeks of work to do at the end of the season, so.... not sure WTF I am going to do. I might have to go to work and work on other peoples projects, yuck.

I can't think of anything else to report.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Crickets chirped on my phone

but I was standing under an awning in downtown catching up with a friend, He is on the clean up crew of The Lieutenant of Inishmore at ACT, I sort of want to see it, it sounds super gory, but since I know how they do it, and I deal with fake blood all the time on my own play... but then again its a gory play with a clean up crew!

So, the above is my excuse for why I didn't update at 5:30, I haven't much to say, except I went to the library on the dinner break, and bought some cool stuff at the Library gift store, then I got dinner, followed by talking to stagehand friend, then Walgreens... the stopping at Walgreens was controversial when I got back to the theatre, but there was no Labor Dispute at the downtown one, I should really talk to one of the protesters, because maybe I will agree, or maybe I will think they are crazy. Don't know. Speaking of Labor and crazy, had an up in arms moment about them hiring an out of town stage manager for Kate's show this summer, Hiring people from out of town to work for extended periods costs about $1,000 a month, as we have to house them, sometimes you have to do this for actors, if what you are looking for is specific, often its a problem for African American actors because there is not enough work for them here..... er... anyway, theatres ALWAYS blame cost over runs on Labor, and we always are aware of it and are on the defensive.

I was going to make this post a Cat post.... its it too late?

okay, cat trama... fatty cat who was on a raw food diet (Bovine) (I am aware we are probably to blame for her fatness by naming her Bovine), learned to jump the the top of the bookcase where the free flowing kibble was, and she stopped eating her good for her food. Just to be clear though, I do not feed the other cats crap food, I feed them BG (before grain), I don't think the problem is really the kibble, its just she over eats and gets an intestinal imbalance or something, and its... um... bad for the person cleaning the litter box... ie... me. In the past too, its escalated into something that required veterinary assistance, so, it was annoying that she figured out how to get on the bookcase. At first I thought just the act of jumping up there would be a little self regulating, Bovine does not like all 4 feet to be in the air at the same time, she is a little afraid of jumping, but getting what the other cats get was worth it.... I guess. It took about 3 weeks before it started to get bad, so, now all the cats are on a strict diet, because there is no place I can give them food. I don't think this is the idle situation, she was losing weight on the raw food, but its been hard to get the other ones on board with this, plus Pat is afraid to starve her, he thinks a diet is no kibble all the time, but if she asks she can have a big helping. is the answer meal times, I don't know...

On another note, Trixie and I were playing with a glow bracelet, when she bit though it.... the insides taste terrible! and bits of my sheets and carpet glowed for a bit... and also, well, also my cat had some glowing spots as well, they say the insides are non-toxic... I hope that's true.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Long time?

So, three times a week an alarm goes off so I can update the blog, Sabine even made me a google calendar so I would blog Monday mornings... And yet...

So, after the radiation oncology appointment on the 13th I am considered cured, by them at least, I don't feel as if this is over, so it's hard to be optimistic about it. Maybe because everything happens so quickly and at such a high state of panic then it just peters out? So, I am trying to redo my diet and lifestyle, and try not to worry about it.

The tamoxifen report is it makes me suddenly sweaty not sure if it's a hot flash or anything, but only side effect so far.

Um, I can partially blame the load in week and tech weeks on my lack of worthwhile info, but now Doctor in spite of himself is over, and scarlet letter is open. The tech of scarlet letter was not pleasant, and I'll be having some things to say at my review. But it's open now, and it's not too bad to run, the reviews are not fantastic, pretty much how the cast feels, it's pretty but shallow. But it's short. Hard to tell if it will be extended or not, we are scheduled through to Dec 5, but could go to the 12th, our contract is through the 17th, but I wonder if we don't extend if we are off a week early, vacation is good but so is money. Not sure what to hope for.

Speaking of vacation, I'm seriously thinking about new years eve, and a California visit, and all that this entails. I don't want to be gone very long but I do want to see my dad, Paul, and the party. Plus I want to be back here for my birthday and not be poor.

For my birthday, I think I am going to the girl spa, since my good friends Tori and Lauren will Not be pregnant at the same time and be unable to go. Like last year. I know you guys did it on purpose.

On a sadder note, the Intiman is in some financial trouble, no one is super sure what's going on there, but it's not good, a few years ago, we stopped talking about our deficit, but apparently that does not make it go away, and now it seems we are a bit hand to mouth. Of course we are all just fruity liberals so we do not deserve any funding, but more people will see live theater in a year than will see a live sporting event. Plus it supports a lot of people, engenders community and dialog. But I imagine it's like the meat and sugar subsidies while we pay full price for vegetables.

What's a blog post without a soapbox, eh?

Other things, I had a massage scheduled for today but it got cancelled, rescheduled to monday. It will be my first massage in almost 20 years. I have been over compensating with my right shoulder for the slight decrease in flexibility I still have post mastectomy. It's annoying.
Okay, the alarm will go off tomorrow at 530, I'll be at the library, so, we will see.

Friday, October 8, 2010

promises

so, I had promised myself, and put an alarm in my phone, but I haven't blogged yet this week.
sorry.

I was going to take pictures of delicious things and post recipes... instead I just ate the delicious things.

no doctors appointments, so... nothing there..

My show closes on Sunday, and a fun three weeks begin.

the first week isnt so exciting, still just 40 hours, but during the day, its hard to adjust to the schedule at first, but its nice to be home at night time, and to see friends like a normal person. On Tuesday I am going to Lauren and Stephen's house or just going out to dinner with them, whatever, and on Saturday I am going to Tori's for Canadian Thanksgiving. No other plans as yet, but it could be exciting.

the second week, well, thats tech week, Tues-Weds-Thurs are 8am to midnight days... sometimes 9am, but still, Fri-Sat-Sun are usually 9am but can be 10am or even 12 to when the show ends and after about a 1/2 hour of notes, for this next show that will mean about 10pm.

On Tues-Weds-Thurs 8am to 11am is for cleaning up, organizing, and getting things ready, 12pm to 5pm and 7pm to 12am is tech rehearsal where we SLOWLY add technical elements to the actors performance, lights, sound, scenery etc. This show doesn't have a lot of props, but it does have a lot of flying pieces, something like 8 trees, a red rectangle, our big red show curtain, a black scrim, the black out curtain (BOC), and 3 electric linesets. oh, and a chandelier. So, there are only two of us backstage on this one, plus it takes both of us to do the trees, so, this will be fun...

On Fri-Sat-Sun 8am to 11am is for fixing things, and more making things better, adjusting lights, moving props around, sweeping and mopping... 12pm to 5pm rehearsal - director's choice. 6pm to 930pm a preview performance, 930 to 10 notes - notes are when mostly the director says what they thought worked or didn't work during the preview, ie. trees faster or slower, this was too bright, this was too dark, etc.

the third week is just like Fri-Sat- Sun of the second week, until Friday when we open, then its mostly smooth sailing after that... its the last tech weeks of the season.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Colonoscopy

So, do you all read the twitter feed to the right?

Well, they found nothing in my colon, nary a polyp. I am pretty excited.

But this doesn't mean I'll get some stamp of cancer free, because of that protein marker, I'm not sure what the next step is, I'm going to not worry about that yet. You shouldn't either!

Unfortunately for my curiosity, the drugs they gave me for the procedure either put me out or I can't remember any thing. I hope I did not disgrace myself in front of the cute medical tech/drug pusher, he sort of brought the cougar out of me... Sigh.

Next up, is a follow up with radiation oncology, they will just be looking at the radiated area. This is Tuesday October 12th.

No medical news is good news until then, oh, except I have to go get the pertussis and flu shot. Lame.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My Trip to Victoria


Outside the undersea garden place, I already posted this but I like it.

The floating undersea garden, a little overpriced

The Harbor

giant seastar, with grey fish

Sea star with orange fish



a view of the windows, there was a dive show going on.


Creepy wax museum


More creepy wax museum, many pictures I took were too dark.

This chair was not made of wax

Wax Buddha

Victoria BC's Pioneer Square is a pioneer cemetary.



Castle Craigdarroch was a large house built by an industry baron in the 1880s, its all hand carved wood, and stained glass, the furnishings are not original, but are from the right period.

Every stained glass window was different, mostly thistles and other flowers from the family's Scottish and British roots.




Hand embroidered fire screen, every fireplace in the castle had one.





there was no explanation of this item, what it looked like to me, is this was a hand knotted hair piece, made with real hair, it was seriously elaborate.


Hair and stained glass reflection. Bonus.


whats a museum without knitting!

Hand carved lizard detail, I wish this picture was better.


Billiard Table, the plaque said mostly the ladies played.


Um, I am currently obsessed with fake food... I think its the prop person in me.

Telescope



The view from the top of the staircase... also a bad picture, sorry

Every post in the staircase, hand carved, and alternating.

Ball gown


View from the top.



An old piano, this was available to anyone who wanted to play, provided you could play that is...


Dance Card


More stained glass...




Fancy duds for dudes too.

This carpet is an old time prop favorite at the Intiman... not this exact one, of course, but this same pattern.



A Model of the castle

More fake food

this vase was cool


Fake bacon and eggs, and below... I was trying to get the high chair.





this was in the gift store, and I might need to knit one.
We didn't make it to anymore cool places after this, the castle was about a mile and a half from downtown, and we ran out of time, plus my phone battery was not holding up well...
so.... this is the end of my pictures.