4 months since my last confession.

I don't know how I think I can write fiction, if I can't update my blog.

Anyway, I ran spotlight this summer for Stu for Silverton, worked a little, thought about moving, took my older cats to the vet, and generally did not update my blog. 

My friend Christina decided to get a space from Spaceoworks in Tacoma, to make into a theatre, I've decided to write some plays, because, seriously, how hard can it be?

I am moving from the shitty apartment, in December, the current estimate, but this might change, don't worry my friends, I am more put out by the delay than you. But it will happen! 

My older cats are both 13 this year, and while generally healthy, they are getting older, this makes me sad. I didn't take them to the vet for that reason though but because I am going to be moving in with some dogs, and they will have more exposure to the various cat viruses, an I felt a booster wouldn't be the worst idea. Now one cat has to have special kidney diet, and the other gets a supplement for the cat Herpes. Which means they all get these things. Yay! 

I am fixing to write, in a writing team, a late night sci-fi show, which will be strongly feminist, but in a different way, I'm just flopping the male to female character ratios, and making all the characters in positions of leadership be female. At one point, if there comes a time that I have more than one male character in an episode, I might have them just talk about just women. As a response to the movie scale out there about female characters in movies, who never talk to other women about anything other than men, and sex.... I can't remember I what it's called exactly. I also want to make "don't be such a boy" be the same insult as "don't be such a girl" ( I often look back on my ER trip when I tore my ACL, and because I was no longer crying, and was cowboying up, they thought it was just a sprain, you know because girls are crybabies) Anyway. 

I also might want to try and write a play by myself, because a title some of us came up with, tickles me. Ambiguity and the Oxford Comma, as sort of a drawing room farce, or maybe something Pinteresque? I'll have to read more plays.

Randomly,

I make excellent French onion soup now, and I am super Excited for Thanksgivunakkah, the first day of Hanukkah falls on Thanksgiving, for the first time ever! So, latkes in turkey gravy, amount other things. I may have described myself as an Atheiest Buddhist who celebrate Jewish holidays and Christmas. Or maybe it was in my head. 

As always, I vow to be better about posting.

In which I catch up

So it's been a while since my last post, there is a draft of a post, but it's incendiary, and I'm not sure I will ever post it, which sort of means I'm part of the problem I was going to talk about... Anyway.

 My last post was April 22, hmm, what has since then... A good question. I'll work back from today.

Today I am hanging out at a friends house waiting for a water heater guy and some guy who is going to caulk her tub, she is working at the opera from 9am to midnight, and just recently had to have her husband put in jail for being crazy... But that's not really my story to tell. 

There are rumors I might be moving in the fall, to something more south, this is just in the rumor stage, and it will be with Pat and the friend whose house I am currently sitting in, now there is a slight possibility that this friend and her husband will miraculously be fixed, and she won't move but this is very remote. 

So, further back in time, this summer is a Wagner's Ring Cycle summer at Seattle Opera, it's sort of a big deal, it's 4 Operas in rep, that tell the story of the Ring of the Nibelung, based on the same stories that also inspired Tolkien, and at 17 hours of opera, it makes Peter Jackson look like a star of editing. It's also massive, and a bit epic, plus, it's 5 weeks of lots of hours. So, something to brag about and you make a little money. Well, there was a distinct possibility that I might have had enough seniority to get it, but alas I did not, so, a bit disappointing and now I have to scramble about for the summer, but, since finding out I'm not on that, I got a little spot op job, and a tiny job at ACT, (which might lead to more) and I guess I'll have to get some projects done. 

Before this, and leading up to ring prep, my friend Christina decided she wants to open a theatre, they have this thing in Tacoma, called space works, and people can get grants to use empty buildings downtown, so downtown looks less, well, empty. There is probably some fine print, about improvements, and getting out on a moments notice, but whatever. So she and her husband are going to start this theater company, and my main contribution is, I'm creating a late night space opera serial, which I also hope to post on YouTube as a web series. And everyone is pretty excited about it. What I know about it so far, is the lead character will be female, she will be slightly sexist towards men, and possibly slightly racist towards white people, though her skin tone is not decided at the moment. The sexism will be ever so slight, one example, if three people are lifting something, and two are female and one is male, she would ask the guy if its too heavy for them, or ask if they need to trade out.

(This happens to me all the time, if I'm with a group of guys working, someone will always ask me if I'm ok lifting that, and I would freaking tell you if it's too heavy, besides when it's to heavy for me, it's too heavy for you. Another example would go like this...

JACK: I will check on the generator.

CAPTAIN: Jill, why don't you help him with that.

Or 

JILL: I'll go check on the generator.

CAPTAIN: Do you need someone to help with that?

But anyway, Christina likes Star Trek, and I prefer the more renegades in space, like Blake 7 and firefly. And I have put the Doc Smith novels (the first space opera novels they say) on my kindle. So it will be a mix of those. 

Before all that, I went on the Puget sound yarn crawl, with my friend Erika and our friend from knitting group, Beth. The whole thing is 24 yarn stores from Blaine to Renton, and there is a free pattern plus the yarn to knit it is on sale, at each store, and there is a daily drawing at each store, and a big drawing at the end. So Erika (who is a friend from work) and I only made it to 17 stores, while Beth made it to all 24. But I won two of the daily drawings. Mostly though its a giant road trip, with yarn. 

All my mama drama is largely concluded, I had asked Al if he would look for a scarf I knit for my mom, which I sort of would like to have, and he sent me a box of random crap, nothing worth keeping, or even remotely symbolic of my mom, when I thanked him (politely) he replied he was now done with Sylvia's family. So, I've written him off. Oh, I take that back, I got my moms copy of the Gregson memoirs, I've tucked that away. There are some things in the cedar chest and some pictures she painted, I would like to have, or give away. I tried to say as delicately as possible, can you tell whoever you have planned to take care of your effects, give them my number for any of my moms crap you are currently keeping, but however you do it, it sounds greedy. And morbid.  

Oh well. 

That's about it, for now.

As always I plan to do better about blogging.

Mini stay cation

I forgot to call my availability in for this week. So, I won't have much work.

I might regret this later, but I'm going to enjoy it anyway.

I have a few social things that might happen, but I'm going to try and keep it to a minimum.

Well

Was there a period of blog in mourning?

Maybe.

My family on my mothers side is a bit... crazy.

I feel very disconnected from them, I should say my uncle. I don't really talk to anyone else, and he isn't a listener, but I feel guilty if I don't try.

But my mothers death I think has inspired my uncle to have a family reunion, in the summer, so I can't go.

I feel weird about family sometimes, isolated by my black sheep mom, then making my own family, getting away from my mom. I didn't live close to any actual family. But even when I lived with my friend Keni in high school, I imagine I could have lived with family then instead, but I didn't. And I feel like the time to make those close ties are over.

It's a little sad.

Other than all that... life has been fine. A little work, a little not working. I have too many social obligations. And it's easier to watch television rather than work out.

Something different

http://youtu.be/QPKKQnijnsM

Sad news

This post might be more... process-y than normal.

You see, my mom died.

Last Wednesday.

Her husband was too over come to contact me right away, I get that, and there is nothing I could have done anyway.

He says he has made arraignments for her cremation, as per her wishes.

In his email, he then went on to compare this tragedy to other horrific losses of his past, which makes it seem like grief should be a competition. And I won't play.

From seeing my mom around other people, and moments growing up, I know her to have been an intelligent, funny, interesting person, cooler at times than other moms. But I wasn't what she wanted. I'm not anything subversive, or alternative, just a girl. But we were a disappointment to each other I guess. It seems simplistic to say we didn't get along because she was mean. It seems petulant, and childish. At least to say it. Because... as the kids say today, it's complicated.

In my dealings with Al, the husband, he has always been churlish, and a bit mean, and I think he has a slightly bloated idea of the amount of respect is owned to him by me. But if you deal with him cautiously, and with a level of empathy, and you don't expect any of that back, it works out.

Enough of that, I did have a moment in the last week, or possibly last month, and I recall it as this last week, where I wondered to myself if my mom would visit me when she died, like she always said her grandmother did, I do know my mother believed that she would be able to watch over the people she loved. So, that's comforting, and possibly spooky, if I want to think of it that way.

On a purely greedy note, not really, I wonder what will happen to her precious family heirlooms, her cedar chest filled with report cards and christening gowns? I want to ask, but I know I can't, and I mostly want to ask because I know I'm not "getting" anything. I've always known I won't get anything, especially if she went first. I'm not sure I want anything anyway. I certainly don't have a place for anything. Besides Al is a little heartbroken for me to be having any sort of conversation about this, for... well, a very long time, if ever.

One last thing, I sort of want to make my uncle be a better person and send Al a sympathy card. But I won't bother.

Almost a week

Wow, I almost stopped posting again, but I remembered!

It's been a busy week in Bunnytown, on Monday I hung out with my friend Tori, but I forgot to give her the cape I made for her son. Boo, and we went to a new bar in my neighborhood, which was entirely too expensive for the bad drinks they were serving, so, then we walked across the street to paseos, and had fancy Mexican food, and margaritas, and it was better. I was then hung over the next day. So sad.

Tuesday, I went to Costco, and a quilt store in the morning with Cole, and in the evening I watched my very first live google hangout, for a book group I follow on the interwebs. It was interesting, I am fascinated with all the cool new media that keeps cropping up, and I want to do something fun and cool with it, but I have no ideas. Boo.

Wednesday, I bussed down to Tacoma to look at Christina's fabric scraps, I meant to also schedule a massage for a spa I have a gift certificate for, but... I didn't. Then I was going to catch a bus downtown by the spa so I could schedule one, but we went to goodwill by the pound, and meet up with Cole there, and I bought too much stuff. So, then I figured I would take the offered ride with all my crap, but because Cole came later, and I hadn't eaten a big lunch the next thing I know it's 430, before we head back, and I have a headache, and I'm cranky. So... That was good, and a bit annoying.

Thursday, I met up with Christina and Erika at the yarn shop for a little in store knitting, so much easier to organize, if its at someone else's shop, and if no one shows up, I'm just knitting with Betty. I worked on my clapotis.

Friday I met up with Lauren, and we knitted in Ballard, after she bought some knitting needles at the Joann's craft store. I did not buy anything. Which is sort if amazing. And Friday evening I went to the book launch of mongoliad 3, it was at the sci fi museum half of EMP, and it was a little interesting, a bunch of authors I have heard about were there, (ok two) but, I hadn't heard of the book, or project before, and then when I looked it up, it didn't seem very interesting, and a little bit more of let's have a giant book where nothing happens, three times, but there was free popcorn, and something to listen too while I knit. There is always free beer and wine at these things, but... I have cut myself off a bit... That margarita was strong.

I also learned a new word... which describes my apartment at the moment... Craftermath, which is the aftermath of crafting. It's scary in here!