Vacation is almost over.

So, I have just this weekend left until my "vacation" is over.

I have not accomplished much, if anything.

I made some cheese.
I organized half of the kitchen.
I read two books, and finished my first pair of mittens. I have lost and gained 10 pounds twice.
I have played with the cats a bit.
I have not really cleaned the apartment.
I did a tiny bit of yoga... which means I cleaned my room.
I started knitting a baby sweater, and I am a third of the way through it.still working on the same three pairs of socks, I am more excited about sweaters and baby things.

and thats it....

oh, I have also eaten at Chaco Canyon twice, and possibly again today.

Pesky Protein Markers

So, I had a doctors appointment yesterday, a four month check up with the oncologist. It went well, no mysterious lumps, no terrible side effects from the tamoxifen.

We talked about mammograms and pelvic exams, we agree (unlike my general practitioner) that I should probably get a pelvic every year while on the tamoxifen, just in case it does catch something early. There is no reliable screening for uterine cancer (risk increased by tamoxifen) but it can't hurt.

We agreed to meet again in four months, and then we talked a bit about the CEA, which was elevated before and I had to have a colonoscopy... you remember. She said we should check it again, because it being elevated made her nervous, made me nervous too!!! nightmares of LURKING CANCER and all... I asked what we would do if it was high or higher, and she said... do the scans again and see if we can find something, she told me she would call with results, both of us were trying to be hopeful as I left, and I wandered down to the Lab.

Today I got an email, not a phone, from my doctor, and my CEA is down from 14.8 to 5.7, still high, normal range is 0 to 5.0 but better... I got this news an hour after saying to someone, I shouldn't worry because, I am a little different. Anyway, we will test again in 6 months.

My Very Brave Friend

I have a very brave friend who wrote a memoir about growing up sissy, and sexually abused, developing a fetish much like a addiction to ease the pain, pain compounded by a family of secrets.

Last Summer I was one of the people to proofread his memoir, I think right before he found a publisher, I was reluctant, I can be very blunt, and don't lie very well if I think something I have read is a pile of crap, and this is a good friend of mine that I work with everyday. I took one version home and didn't read it for a week, then a newer rewrite was available, and I forced myself to start... if it was bad, I would be part of the solution.

I could not stop reading this compelling story, so honestly told, so heartbreaking and heartwarming, at one point I was afraid I was friends with a sociopath... but... it works out.

He also writes a blog. And this is his Book. Now, Dennis is gay, and if you can't get past that, or think its some weird choice that people make, to be gay... well then you won't like or approve of this book, or of Dennis himself, that is okay, I don't want to hear about it though.

The post holiday gloom is a time when I feel I need to hide secrets away from ... I don't know... the biggest secret is my mom....

My relationship with my mom is the best it is ever going to be, the best arrangement is I call her three times a year, this year, I think I might send a card a month, but I don't know how long that will last. I have tried harder in the past, the return is the same. Before you say well you need to reach out more no matter what the "return" ... no. My mom wants an idealized daughter, if I call too much, that puts a damper on things, I might want her to remember something about whats going on in my life. When I called her the day after my surgery last year, she was confused, and had not even been worried or possibly aware I had had surgery, but maybe I'm selfish?

I wish it were better, but its as good as it gets, I can not make it any better, so, I think I will just call her three times a year.

But back to my friend....
I am going to see the play based on my friends memoir on Saturday, its going to be great.

A Week of Dance

So, I just spent 7 days working on a dance show, seven days straight, but that will be okay once I get the check.

I very rarely have any contact with Dancers - mostly I deal with actors, sometimes singers, but dancers are a new bread... I have sometimes worked with musical theatre dancers, and I am trying to remember if they are the same...
but dancers are nicer, and smarter than actors... they can navigate in the dark, and pay attention. They are very low maintenance and very appreciative, although I did mop the floor.... a lot.

The Dance company is Whim W'him, a new company that is now the resident dance company at the Intiman... no one is sure what that means, but... they will probably be back next year with hugs and kisses for all.

Merde

Belated Birthday Post

so, my birthday was last week, and it was pretty good.

I celebrated with my roommate, and three friends at a restaurant I had never been before, Chaco Canyon Cafe and it was great. I had a raw curry bowl which was cabbage and brussel sprouts in a coconut curry sauce, and I had a slice of coconut cream pie. I didn't really notice what everyone else had, so self absorbed, and it was over a week ago.... I take it back, Pat and Lauren had veggie dogs, Jeanette had some black bean and quinoa bowl, and I didn't notice what Christina had... not as oblivious as I thought.

I got an interesting present from my mom, I am going to criticise because it is my blog, and because its mystifying, and well, some cause for concern for myself.

So, I got this dollar store necklace and earring set, and I suspect she got it as a free gift with something else she ordered, and its missing two fake pearls. I also got a cigarette case/wallet thing, which I decided to use as a wallet, its not so good for cash, and that's a bit of a problem, but life isn't perfect. Now, I don't want to say anything bad because I got a present, and this is very rare, but... my mom used to have pretty good taste. And this is what worries me, what if there is something genetic that makes your aesthetic taste disappear as you get older? What if my mom's mom had it too, when she sent postcards of ASPCA kittens asking if we had hugged our cat today... nothing else... I already like some very kitchy things... is it already happening? I'm not sure what to do with this jewelry, I will never wear it, its gold tone for one, and well... yeah.

On brighter birthday greediness, I got a fun Lego toy from my dad of the space needle, I think I might take it to work, because that is where I have a decent collection of fun toys. I have not yet put it together, and Pat got me an embarrassment of riches (its because he got me a reciprocal saw for Christmas, which is ... well, I am unlikely to ever use it, certainly not at home, and well, he felt bad.) (I do want to cut stuff up though). I got cheesecloth, a book on making your own green cleaning products, a mini voodoo doll, and a book on making cheese. (75 recipes for making your own cheese) (now I need sheep and a yard to keep them in).

So, it was a pretty nice birthday. I turned.... 42... but I guess its not the end of the world.