muscle tension

I have the worlds tightest shoulder muscles.

I feel like I should introduce testimonials at this time, but that would be silly.

But anyway, I have super tight shoulder muscles, and I have no idea why, they have been tight for years, if I were to guess, its from shoulder injuries back from waitressing.... but having had a mastectomy has not helped.

anyway about 4 months ago, I developed a painful lump on my neck, I googled it, and did some exercises, but it really didn't help much, and finally I went to the doctor. Which is a bit of a process, as I don't currently have insurance, any month now my insurance should kick in, but not yet.  I can go to the country doctor (low cost, who will not turn you away for no insurance, they bug you about signing up for insurance, which I don't qualify for free, and I don't want to bother with having two insurances should I actually ever get really sick. Enough of that.

I finally went to the doctor for it, hoping to be told go to a chiropractor.  Now, in my brain every lump could be cancer, but having had cancer its not a funny joke anymore, but I never actually thought this lump was cancer, the amount of pain generated by it makes me think its structural in some way... (I am actually more worried about the persistently itchy spot on my back being cancer, which is not that worried) Anyway, the nurse practitioner was concerned, so I have to go to a real doctor today. But she did give me some muscle relaxers for my back.

I was very excited about the muscle relaxers. I even followed directions and cut back on my obscene use of Advil, (which I felt when that wore off, let me tell you).

I took my pill, and after about 20 minutes I felt great, well, mostly pain free, it was awesome. I am supposed to take them at bedtime, and I did, but 2 hours before I actually went to bed. I didn't take my usual bedtime cocktail, just the melatonin, but the pill wore off after a total of 4 hours, and I tossed and turned and used all my tricks to sleep an hour at a time. So, not a complete success...

But this morning the lump on my neck seemed smaller, so, there's that.

I feel stupid whining about my sore back and shoulders,

I really hate how having had cancer makes other people uncomfortable about joking about having cancer.

Anyway....

On with the rest of my day.

the Bad one

I have been very bad about blogging, I have been bad about writing too.

Procrastination... thou art my friend... not

there has been a little bit of work, which is nice, and a little bit of down time, which is also nice, but I have a giant mountain of things to do...

but all I want to do is play on the computer. Although, yesterday I read an entire book. It was fast. and that was nice.

I am listening to a book on willpower, and I'll work on those lessons, as soon as I finish this computer game... I promise.

So, lets see, the Wolf camping trip is this weekend, and I can't really go, well, I can... but it would be needlessly complicated, I would have been partially in charge of things, and I don't want to be. Plus, the cat transfer is Wednesday or Thursday, and I would like to be here for that... too many times other I feel like other people get the glory for my hard work, when I let people in at the end. I want to be the one that Desirae thanks for watching her cats for 3 months, rather than Pat saying, its was no problem at all...

Plus I need to get some shit done... but we will see about that.

But right now, I am going to scoop 6 cat boxes.