hey look, some actual script

(LIGHTS COME UP IN THE COCKPIT OF A SMALL SPACE SHUTTLE, Crew is preparing the shuttle for departure from main ship.)

COMMUNICATION OFFICER

CAPTAIN

     Officer Melis Status report

NAV

I don't know captain, there is something interfering with the landing thrusters, if this weren't just a little asteroid, I would say we hit a gravity well, but I have never seen anything like this. I am trying to compensate!

GEOLOGIST

What is happening Captain?

CAPTAIN

Hold on, it looks like we are in for a rough landing. Didn't you say there was something strange about this asteroid?

GEOLOGIST

Well, the long range scans, did detect anomalous readings of what might be the theoretical dark matter geons but...

CAPTAIN

Do you know anything helpful?

GEOLOGIST

Umm... no.

COMPUTER

Attention! Teachable failure in 30 seconds

NAV

Captain! The ? Will fail in 30 seconds, attempting to compensate now.

(the ship lurches to the left.. Or the crew lurches to the right)

Helm is not responding!

COMM

Captain! There is an incoming signal from General Mills, he would like a status report.

CAPTAIN

Seriously!

(sigh)

Please inform the General of our status. That should have been an

(ship lurches to the right, um, crew to the left)

Beep! What is

COMPUTER

??? FAILURE. ATTENTION. LANDFALL IN 10 SECONDS. PLEASE PREPARE FOR CRASH LANDING.

NAV

Captain, we are coming in Hot.

CAPTAIN

This is impossible, how can this asteroid have enough gravity to ...

COMPUTER

Landfall in ... 1 second.

(black-out)

(lights come up on a disheveled ship and a disheveled crew accountant and doctor are unconscious. The lighting is emergency lighting, maybe there is smoke)

CAPTAIN

OK, report!

NAV

I'm Okay, Ma'am, ships messed up though

COMM

I'll be okay, ma'am

MARINE

The Miner Is fine. (helping Astrid Up) But the accountant is out. (checking pulses) and the doctor. That's helpful.

MINER

The Miner's name is Sideria, but I prefer Sidra.

MARINE

My name is Stella. Thats cool.

CAPTAIN

Nav. Run a computer diagnostic. Corporal, take... um, Sidra? And deploy the portable atmospheric unit.(Marine and Miner exit) Tymek, see if you can reach the general. I'm going to take the Geologist and see if you can get some answers about this crazy place. Fix the ship.

(Captain and Geologist exit)

COMM

What do the diagnostics say, what can I do to help?

NAV

I've got it covered. I'm not really sure there is anything you can do. Unless you can find the manual, that would be helpful.

COMM

I am actually a little familiar with ship mechanics, my mom was a ships mechanic, I'm pretty good with machines.

NAV

But, you aren't a mechanic are you? Maybe you can pick up some of this debris.

(black out)

christina is posting this elsewhere, so...

an excerpt from Space Puffs

CHARACTERS

SPACE CAPTAIN (KELLY Caspari)-    A brass self-confident young officer in her first command, cocky and rash, she feels she is born to command, and she feels this makes her irrestistable to the gentlemen. Quick to fisticuffs and equally fast to kissing.

SPACE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER (Tymek Lesniak)(M)- A QUIETLY ASSURED COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER, QUICK WITH LANGUAGES AND CODES. HE IS VERY DEMURE IN HIS PERSON, THOUGH QUITE ATTRACTIVE, HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO ASSUME HE GOT AHEAD USING HIS SEX APPEAL.

SPACE NAVIGATOR (Phaedra Melis) - SMUG AND SELF IMPORTANT, SHE COMES FROM A MILITARY FAMILY AND DOES THINGS BY THE BOOK, AT ODDS WITH THE CAPTAIN.

SPACE MARINE (STELLA Schoenmann)- JOINED SPACE CORP TO EARN MONEY FOR COLLEGE, AWED BY THE WONDER OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM.

CIVILIAN GEOLOGIST (BENNETT Elias) - WITH MANY LETTERS AFTER HER NAME SHE IS A LITTLE POMPOUS, BUT KNOWLEDGEABLE AND THINKS QUICKLY ON HER FEET.

CIVILIAN ACCOUNTANT (Namzuu DelGrande) (M)-

 THE MINING COMPANY'S BEAN COUNTER, OFFICIOUS, AND A BIT OF A WHINER

CIVILIAN DOCTOR (Joeliyn McEnerney-Miltenberger OR

Karissa Holten-Lazid or

Deepanwita Doman-Gybs or

Toshiana Oldford-Farrugia)- WITH A DEGREE FROM A VERY SMALL AND SUSPECT COUNTRY, MOSTLY CAPABLE, PRONE TO DRINK?

CIVILIAN MINER (Sideria Dinkelspühl) - GRUFF AND SURLY, BUT READY TO ROLL UP HER SLEEVES AND GET THE JOB DONE.

GENERAL MILLS (V) - OFF SCREEN VOICE OF AUTHORITY, AND COMMANDS

ALIEN SHIP COMPUTER (V) - CONDESCENDING, AND SNARKY

we has wifi

I know LOLcat speak is ... dumb.

But I feel like celebrating the tiny victory.

A week ago, I was in the middle of a move. Now, I'm in the middle of a giant pile of unsorted shit. People who sat back and did nothing are criticising my method, saying "We should have organized everything better, and packed earlier" Really dude, you watched two people pack your room. People I contacted, and arranged to come and help you, twice. You never made any effort.  And then you didn't help direct anything here at the house when you got here!!! Argh! But to be fair, you had crazy britches here, being crazy. Oh and crazy britches, thanks for angrily shoving things back in the house I had already sorted, and putting a fuck ton of things back in the house, with out really because clearly most of what I own, craft, and the kitchen stuff, not exclusively mine either. I hope she doesn't read this, but I lost it today.

I thought we were all moving in at the same time, then I thought, Pat and I were moving in, and a month later she was moving in, so, there would be a place for her shit, and the craft shit, and all the general shit. But instead she has been crazy. In full on hard core panic mode every minute, refusing to listen to reason, or to calm down. The constant panicked plea on facebook, for thousands of people to help with the move, and it was fine. But today, I lost it, because Pat lost the charger cord to his Kindle, and he has been using mine (the plug adapter) but, I need it too, for my phone. I haven't found my adapters either, but I have been trying to do some organizing, I moved some stuff, but I don't really want to do everything myself. I know there is some stuff Pat can't do, and Cole is insane, but seriously. But then, Cole bought Pat and I flowers, you would think, oh, how sweet, but... no vases have been unpacked, Pat isn't going to get off his ass to find a vase, Cole isn't going to find a vase. Instead she is going to argue about everything with me,
"I have those long days at the Opera starting on Tuesday"
 "The Opera starts on Wednesday"
 "no its on Tuesday"
"you might be working on Tuesday, I know I am at the Key, but the Opera is on Wednesday"
 "I have it written down somewhere"

Okay

"I guess I'll put the glass in with the paper recycling"
"I think they go together"
"No, we will have to call and order a container"
"I don't think so, but ok"
"Oh, the recycling bin clearly has glass listed on it, guess I didn't see it"

Yeah.

Dear god, I can't wait until this has settled down.

Anyway.

More later.