Oh, last time I updated, it was all about clear margins, clean nodes. A positive outcome and a possible signal to the end of treatment. Just a little radiation, and we are good to go.
Well.
It's still good!
But, now that we are past the surgery, there are some addition things to think about, the tumor while non agressive, and typically non matastising, it was large, 7cm x 5cm x 3cm, now my arguement is my boob was pretty big, so proportionally, that's not terrible, right. Well, it is good....
But they want me to get chemo, and radiation, they will want the tamoxifen too, but I don't think so at this point.
So, here is their reasoning, chemo plus radiation is recommended if, there is lymph node involvement (no), or not clear margins (mine where clear) or it's estrogen progesterin negative (mine are positve) or the tumor size is over 5cm.
One out of four. Crap!
So, pre surgery, we did some blood tests, to test for certain protein markers associated with my type of cancer, the CEA and the CA 15, I might have posted my numbers, anyway, I'll recap if I have.
My preop CEA was 31.5 or so, normal is between 0.0 to 5.0, my post op value is 6.5, still above normal, but greatly reduced, it might possibly continue to fall, or might normally be a bit high, it's still suspect, the CA-15, was high preop and is now in the middle of the normal range.
I did a bone scan yesterday morning, and everything is good there. Today I did a barium and contrast ct.
But even if everything is good - they are going to recommend chemo, because of it's size. I tried to get out it, but the truth seems to be- there isn't information of what happens if I don't do it, based on my tumor type, only that my "odds" "chances" "the statistics" are good if I do the chemo and radiation.
On one hand I feel railroaded - a commodity in the cancer factory, on another hand I just want it to be over, just do the fucking treatment, and I should be able to go about my business without a care in the world. At least about cancer.
So, that's the update.
Now, I guess I get to think of fun hat ideas.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Been a while!
I am doing very well, the drain is out, the healing has begun, the strength is back, I have a few flexibility issues because of the scar tissue.
I scheduled mopey-ness in for this last weekend, and I feel better for it, a little bit of wallowing... but its good.
All sorts of fun sensation is returning to the breast area, I say that a bit sarcastically, since all day yesterday I thought there was a hair poking and tickling me, but no... just one regrown nerve. But I am more annoyed by my armpit scar... deeply deeply thankful they did not have to remove all of my lymph nodes... I would have been more annoyed then, but its stretchy sore, and a bit lumpy and I am timid about shaving there, and afraid to get it waxed. We will have to wait and see how that turns out.
Friday is my oncology consultation, I am hoping against hope that they say no radiatin for you... but its the standard of care, so, I am out of luck there... Not sure why I am set against it, except its bad for your heart... I know it is better than it used to be, and its not even going to be internal at all, but, still...
To be honest, a bit of my reluctance is I am afraid of fitting it in to my work schedule, and a bit of whether it will make me so tired I will need some help to do my job, the ridiculous part is, mostly I am afraid I will look weak... to myself.
But anyway.... work is going well, its the most boring show backstage ever, and the next show is going to be a crazy crazy train wreck... Mostly because we have no boss... they hired one, he starts August 25th... and now they are dilly dallying about getting an interim, while we break the ill equipt assistant production manager, who is beginning to look tramatized. It doesn't help that he was trained by the promise the moon, deliver nothing previous production manager. In the play coming up, which is a remount of sorts, (we have the same designers as New York and Chicago, and some of the same props and costumes) we have to make the bits that didn't get sent to us, and build the set (our stage architechture is very different). So, what we got to work with set wise were some poorly made draftings of the original set "photoshopped" into our stage, with no specifics, so our Technical Director - made his own adjustments for better or for worse. Our Prop Master (my half step to the side boss) only got boxes of props from the Chicago run, some bottles still filled with water, and pictures of the props from Chicago. Right before the holiday weekend, he found out that the designer was unhappy with what Chicago had changed in the props, and wanted everything to look like they had in New York... oh... but we have no drawings or pictures of what those looked like... good times.
Oh... and another thing. I am doing the breast cancer 5k on Sunday... I have 15 people on my team... which I think is Awesome!!!
I scheduled mopey-ness in for this last weekend, and I feel better for it, a little bit of wallowing... but its good.
All sorts of fun sensation is returning to the breast area, I say that a bit sarcastically, since all day yesterday I thought there was a hair poking and tickling me, but no... just one regrown nerve. But I am more annoyed by my armpit scar... deeply deeply thankful they did not have to remove all of my lymph nodes... I would have been more annoyed then, but its stretchy sore, and a bit lumpy and I am timid about shaving there, and afraid to get it waxed. We will have to wait and see how that turns out.
Friday is my oncology consultation, I am hoping against hope that they say no radiatin for you... but its the standard of care, so, I am out of luck there... Not sure why I am set against it, except its bad for your heart... I know it is better than it used to be, and its not even going to be internal at all, but, still...
To be honest, a bit of my reluctance is I am afraid of fitting it in to my work schedule, and a bit of whether it will make me so tired I will need some help to do my job, the ridiculous part is, mostly I am afraid I will look weak... to myself.
But anyway.... work is going well, its the most boring show backstage ever, and the next show is going to be a crazy crazy train wreck... Mostly because we have no boss... they hired one, he starts August 25th... and now they are dilly dallying about getting an interim, while we break the ill equipt assistant production manager, who is beginning to look tramatized. It doesn't help that he was trained by the promise the moon, deliver nothing previous production manager. In the play coming up, which is a remount of sorts, (we have the same designers as New York and Chicago, and some of the same props and costumes) we have to make the bits that didn't get sent to us, and build the set (our stage architechture is very different). So, what we got to work with set wise were some poorly made draftings of the original set "photoshopped" into our stage, with no specifics, so our Technical Director - made his own adjustments for better or for worse. Our Prop Master (my half step to the side boss) only got boxes of props from the Chicago run, some bottles still filled with water, and pictures of the props from Chicago. Right before the holiday weekend, he found out that the designer was unhappy with what Chicago had changed in the props, and wanted everything to look like they had in New York... oh... but we have no drawings or pictures of what those looked like... good times.
Oh... and another thing. I am doing the breast cancer 5k on Sunday... I have 15 people on my team... which I think is Awesome!!!
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