I have been very busy lately, but when I say busy, I mostly mean stuck at my job for 12 to 15 hours a day.
I can say all sorts of things about how this went, but it is a public forum, and I don't want what I say to come back and bite me in the ass.
That being said my life is more reasonable, 3 8 hour days and 2 12 hour days, I'm still a bit tired and cranky, but it's working it's way out.
I have been taking a meditation class on Monday nights and that has been nice, I'm not so good about practicing hopefully I'll be better now that I have a little time. I do notice my mindset in certain situations more than before and I also am a little better at being present in the current moment. This is easier if I had been dwelling on something past that was unpleasant but it has helped me.
I'm reluctant to confess this but I'm starting yet another fitness program. I feel confident I will stick to it. I often have motivational problems - my friends are also not very helpful in this regard. But I figure it might be like quitting smoking, keep trying till it sticks.
Well my break is almost over. Maybe. I think. Anyway.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
a little geneology fun
for the Seagraves Clan.
Not sure how these folks are related... but we are in their family tree.
This is the link to Grandma Bulah Arizona Presley Seagraves.
Have fun.
Not sure how these folks are related... but we are in their family tree.
This is the link to Grandma Bulah Arizona Presley Seagraves.
Have fun.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Sunday salad
Today I made a variation of my classic raw kale salad.
I'm not actually a fan of kale, so generally the favors are very strong.
Last week I blended some sorrel in the dressing for an additional citrus punch, and it turned out quite good, unfortunately I will probably never buy sorrel again, since I liked it in the dressing but not in anything else. The dressing only needed a handful, and it comes in a bag of about 6-8 cups, about 4oz. I've already forgotten all the components, but there were about 3 limes worth of juice, handful of sorrel, toasted sesame oil, miso paste and garlic.
Today, over 1/2 a pound of mixed kale chopped, I made a dressing of sesame oil, apple cider vinegar, shallots, garlic, miso and water. To the kale I added sprouted mung beans (1/4 tails) and some spicy radishes.
I am quite pleased with the radish purchase, they are nice and spicy, unlike the bland ones I've gotten lately.
I'll give the roommate's salad review tomorrow.
I'm not actually a fan of kale, so generally the favors are very strong.
Last week I blended some sorrel in the dressing for an additional citrus punch, and it turned out quite good, unfortunately I will probably never buy sorrel again, since I liked it in the dressing but not in anything else. The dressing only needed a handful, and it comes in a bag of about 6-8 cups, about 4oz. I've already forgotten all the components, but there were about 3 limes worth of juice, handful of sorrel, toasted sesame oil, miso paste and garlic.
Today, over 1/2 a pound of mixed kale chopped, I made a dressing of sesame oil, apple cider vinegar, shallots, garlic, miso and water. To the kale I added sprouted mung beans (1/4 tails) and some spicy radishes.
I am quite pleased with the radish purchase, they are nice and spicy, unlike the bland ones I've gotten lately.
I'll give the roommate's salad review tomorrow.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Mother update
So, I spoke to my mother last Tuesday, and was shocked to find she was pleasant. She was a little vague and spacey, and seemed to be trying to multitask, unsuccessfully. Not overly crazy. Which, frankly is a bit of a change.
A quick family history suggests vascular dementia and Parkinson's might run in the family, but who the hell knows for sure.
It looks like the circle of hells are as follows, Al- in the thick of it, me- peripherally involved, and then everyone else. A vast sea of people to whom I can rehash the painful details for sympathy, but I wish I didn't feel so alone in this. I know this is self pity talking, and once I adjust I'll be less melancholy.
As I was moping I remembered talking to a coworker, whose wife had a similar experience to mine, an only child with a mother who was mean, but who got nicer with dementia. In some ways it almost seems like a cruel joke, I had decided to not make an effort anymore, 3 cards a year was what I had decided was fair, Knowing I would get Nothing back. Now, she is nice, and demented. There is some irony or something at work here, maybe karma?
A quick family history suggests vascular dementia and Parkinson's might run in the family, but who the hell knows for sure.
It looks like the circle of hells are as follows, Al- in the thick of it, me- peripherally involved, and then everyone else. A vast sea of people to whom I can rehash the painful details for sympathy, but I wish I didn't feel so alone in this. I know this is self pity talking, and once I adjust I'll be less melancholy.
As I was moping I remembered talking to a coworker, whose wife had a similar experience to mine, an only child with a mother who was mean, but who got nicer with dementia. In some ways it almost seems like a cruel joke, I had decided to not make an effort anymore, 3 cards a year was what I had decided was fair, Knowing I would get Nothing back. Now, she is nice, and demented. There is some irony or something at work here, maybe karma?
Friday, April 13, 2012
My mother has Dementia
So, yesterday evening my stepfather made what was probably a very hard phone call to me.
He said that my mother has dementia, this is not surprising to me, still it's hard to hear.
He says on a scale from 1 to 10, that she is a two, but she has recently become incontinent, I would argue that she is more like an eight, and an argument for my judgement is I do not live with her so her crazy seems more crazy, and when I have talked to her (last summer) she has had trouble following the conversation, and gets thoughts stuck in her head that she can't stop and move on with the conversation. My friend Sabine also has concluded that my mom is crazy as a loon, Sabine called my mom after my surgery to tell her I came out of it fine, but my mom could not recognize that she was not talking to me, this was May 6, 2010.
I didn't ask, and it didn't seem as though Al (the stepfather) had taken her to an actual doctor for a diagnosis.
I want to bug him about it, but it's for him to decide, and for him to do. It is very unlikely that a specific diagnosis will change her prognosis, especially since there is a family history of a type of dementia.
My mom's cousin has Parkinson's and this might be a possibility, but my mind keeps going back to my grandmother having had evidence of tiny strokes, which is vascular dementia. I don't believe it is the Gregson Crud as my mother has called it. Or at least I do not think it is our exclusive illness.
I'm not sure how much contact I will have with my mom in the future, I don't think her being demented will improve our relationship, she is still a bit of a bully, and how much do you have to put up with really in this sort of situation.
I really feel for Al, the stepfather, because to be perfectly frank, he might be living my nightmare. I feel guilty for saying that... God, family is complicated, especially if estranged.
He said that my mother has dementia, this is not surprising to me, still it's hard to hear.
He says on a scale from 1 to 10, that she is a two, but she has recently become incontinent, I would argue that she is more like an eight, and an argument for my judgement is I do not live with her so her crazy seems more crazy, and when I have talked to her (last summer) she has had trouble following the conversation, and gets thoughts stuck in her head that she can't stop and move on with the conversation. My friend Sabine also has concluded that my mom is crazy as a loon, Sabine called my mom after my surgery to tell her I came out of it fine, but my mom could not recognize that she was not talking to me, this was May 6, 2010.
I didn't ask, and it didn't seem as though Al (the stepfather) had taken her to an actual doctor for a diagnosis.
I want to bug him about it, but it's for him to decide, and for him to do. It is very unlikely that a specific diagnosis will change her prognosis, especially since there is a family history of a type of dementia.
My mom's cousin has Parkinson's and this might be a possibility, but my mind keeps going back to my grandmother having had evidence of tiny strokes, which is vascular dementia. I don't believe it is the Gregson Crud as my mother has called it. Or at least I do not think it is our exclusive illness.
I'm not sure how much contact I will have with my mom in the future, I don't think her being demented will improve our relationship, she is still a bit of a bully, and how much do you have to put up with really in this sort of situation.
I really feel for Al, the stepfather, because to be perfectly frank, he might be living my nightmare. I feel guilty for saying that... God, family is complicated, especially if estranged.
Friday, March 23, 2012
A long long time
Sorry.
I just get super bad about posting, then I feel bad about not posting... Fantasize about fabulous posts, full of meaning and significance. Delving into my soul, and delivering up the essence of myself.
Then I think, the people who read this want to know am I well... Answer Yes and have I done anything interesting lately. Which is not really, I have been full of plans though.
I am still healthy, still could use a little weight loss, and still a procrastinator about working out. Although I did just rejoin a gym and I ordered sports bras and performance underwear, in a digression typical for me, I am super excited about all the miracles that performance underwear are supposed to ... well ... perform. The Tamoxifen has made me very sweaty. I am also in negotiation with a friend to do some sort of boot camp class. Or I might sign up for some online buddy thing, I need a little accountability but, you have to find just the right buddy... That might just be me.
So work wise, the Intiman is back for an abbreviated summer season, and I have accepted my old position back for that, it doesn't really start until the second week of June, but what are ya gonna do, there might be a little prep work. Anyway, I'll do what I have been doing and that will be okay. I worked a lot this past week, with the load in of Momma Mia tour at the Paramount up here, that loads out Sunday night, and Wednesday was an employee meeting for a large Internet book/everything store that I'm not sure I can mention, I won't write it's actual name, so they can't find me in a web search, I loaded that out today, tomorrow is a rental at the Intiman in the evening and Sunday night load out of momma mia. So this week in busy anyway.
This week is also the socializing week, since yesterday I hung out with Christina and watched the first 6 episodes of Game Of Thrones, and tomorrow Tori and me are having brunch, before I work and on Sunday I am going to VegFest with Lauren. This will be my third year, it's pretty cool, a lot of veggie/tofu sausage, but also yogurt, ice cream, bread and Indian food.
In a segment I would like to call Reluctant Hippy/DIY, I made my own deodorant recently, since after my surgery I have had one armpit be out of control, strange, and the coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch recipe works pretty well, better than store bought, proving once again, I'm a little bit off.
So, obligatory cat update. Trixie is still licking herself bald in her kitty nether regions, a strange OCD thing that the vet is not worried about, and Alice has decided to mark out of spite, I frankly just wish these damn cats would learn english, but I was trying to figure out what she was trying to tell me, but the last time, when she peed on my jacket in front of me, I yelled loudly at her and chased her out of my room, banishing her until the next day, and at one point making her think she was in imminent danger of being throttled, which she might have actually been. And she has been good so far.
All right, I have to pee, and feed the cats, maybe I will post again soon.
I just get super bad about posting, then I feel bad about not posting... Fantasize about fabulous posts, full of meaning and significance. Delving into my soul, and delivering up the essence of myself.
Then I think, the people who read this want to know am I well... Answer Yes and have I done anything interesting lately. Which is not really, I have been full of plans though.
I am still healthy, still could use a little weight loss, and still a procrastinator about working out. Although I did just rejoin a gym and I ordered sports bras and performance underwear, in a digression typical for me, I am super excited about all the miracles that performance underwear are supposed to ... well ... perform. The Tamoxifen has made me very sweaty. I am also in negotiation with a friend to do some sort of boot camp class. Or I might sign up for some online buddy thing, I need a little accountability but, you have to find just the right buddy... That might just be me.
So work wise, the Intiman is back for an abbreviated summer season, and I have accepted my old position back for that, it doesn't really start until the second week of June, but what are ya gonna do, there might be a little prep work. Anyway, I'll do what I have been doing and that will be okay. I worked a lot this past week, with the load in of Momma Mia tour at the Paramount up here, that loads out Sunday night, and Wednesday was an employee meeting for a large Internet book/everything store that I'm not sure I can mention, I won't write it's actual name, so they can't find me in a web search, I loaded that out today, tomorrow is a rental at the Intiman in the evening and Sunday night load out of momma mia. So this week in busy anyway.
This week is also the socializing week, since yesterday I hung out with Christina and watched the first 6 episodes of Game Of Thrones, and tomorrow Tori and me are having brunch, before I work and on Sunday I am going to VegFest with Lauren. This will be my third year, it's pretty cool, a lot of veggie/tofu sausage, but also yogurt, ice cream, bread and Indian food.
In a segment I would like to call Reluctant Hippy/DIY, I made my own deodorant recently, since after my surgery I have had one armpit be out of control, strange, and the coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch recipe works pretty well, better than store bought, proving once again, I'm a little bit off.
So, obligatory cat update. Trixie is still licking herself bald in her kitty nether regions, a strange OCD thing that the vet is not worried about, and Alice has decided to mark out of spite, I frankly just wish these damn cats would learn english, but I was trying to figure out what she was trying to tell me, but the last time, when she peed on my jacket in front of me, I yelled loudly at her and chased her out of my room, banishing her until the next day, and at one point making her think she was in imminent danger of being throttled, which she might have actually been. And she has been good so far.
All right, I have to pee, and feed the cats, maybe I will post again soon.
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