After Radiation, Am I Cured?!?

Uh, no.

So, after radiation was over, I went to see my medical oncologist, as opposed to my radiation oncologist, and I went much better than the first time. She congratulated me on my not needing chemo, and we talked about the tamoxifen, I got the impression that she wouldn't have fought me too much on the tamoxifen if I hadn't wanted to take it. But I figured I'll take it until I have side effects I can't deal with, and I try to lose weight. Losing weight will decrease my chance of recurrence a lot, also the risk for some of the nastier side effects of tamoxifen, she seemed pleased with my choices.
She commiserated with me on the "scaling" of the radiation area, said meet me in 4 months, and let's test that protein marker that was still a little elevated post surgery.

And away I went.

The next day she called, I missed her call, but a check on my online medical account said my protein marker was higher. If you don't remember, presurgery it was 33, post surgery 6.5, normal is 0.0 to 5.0. Now it was up to 14.8.

I made an appointment for a phone consult with the Dr. , since you can't just call, for 48 hours later. As a terrible pain sprang up in my lower back, and anxiety in my heart.

I will leave you with this cliff hanger. I'll post on Wednesday.

My Summer

So, I was realizing, I have to update more often, if I want this blog to mean something. Or be an accurate picture of my life.

Anyway, so, I think I left off with the not having chemo, but having to have radiation. Well, they set me up, tattooed me, three tiny dots, so they can orient the laser grid, like a laser leveler. The initial meeting took an hour and a half, with lots of consultation, drawing with sharpie and the like, I got two of the tattoos then. After that, you wait for two weeks for your first appointment. The first appointment takes a bit of time too, as the technicians line you up, and consult orders and it's signed off on by the doctor. About 25 minutes maybe, but you have to lie in the same position and not move till they are done or they have to start over. Then, it's a quick 15 minutes Monday thru friday, 5 minutes to change, 5 minutes to get zapped, 5 minutes to change back and you are done. I had 30 treatments, 25 in a large square in my chest, and 5 on the scar, it was fine for the first four weeks, then where it had gotten dark pink, it changed to a purply brown, then the brown started to peel, unfortunately, it peeled like a purple sunburn, painful, pink and crusty, everyone reacted like it was pretty normal, and my guess is I was in the middle range of reactions.

The last week was just the scar, so, they made a crazy lead alloy plate about an inch and a half thick. This plate has a cut out 3 centimeters wide and 6 or 7 inches long, it looks a bit like a worm, and its been cut specially for my scar, to radiate only the scar and 1 1/2 cm on either side. I didn't get to keep it. I asked. The regular radiation set up was pretty pedestrian, on a table and away you go, the scar part was alot more space agey, the table you raises some four feet off the ground and they add this 18 inch holder thing for the plate. It pretty wild. I have a strange photo of it, but my phone will only do one photo, so next time.

Never mind, I don't think it will let me load any photos

the No Chemo Update... Official

So, I looked back and I haven't officially told you the no chemo story.


After the argument, and bad feelings in the medical oncologists office, I was sent to a round of tests, bone scan (good) and contrast CT (good) (I have a cyst in my kidney, but its just something that happens when you get old. Yay. ). Also, my tumor was sent for a test as well (part of it), called the oncodx.

I had heard of the oncodx in my forum reading, mostly as a test that might get me out of chemo, but I didn't know all the facts about the test and what it does.... so, this lack of information made the Dr. 's phone call less thrilling right away... I am sorry Dr., you deserved screams of joy.

Anyway... as far as I can piece together, the Oncodx test, looks at 21 genetic markers in your tumor, and decides how aggressive and/or how prone to matastizing your tumor might be, then it places your tumor on a scale from 1 to 100, your total risk of recurrence and general bad behavior of your cancer. 100 being chemo drip for the rest of your life, and 1 being ... well very good. The forums are full of people with an Onco score of 50 who end up doing 3 different types of chemo. A few sources are talking about how mucinous tumors maybe being over medicated and this test will prevent much of that.

So...

My score was a 4... yep, so close to 1 as to be almost unbelievable.

Before you think wait, does this mean she didn't need the mastectomy? The answer to that would be yes, I did need the mastectomy, and I will need the radiation. Radiation cleans up the area.

I had my radiation planning session last Tuesday, I had hoped to be doing it by this week, so it wont effect my schedule too much, but they are still planning.

A day Off

so, I had a little walk today, on the top of Queen Anne Hill,
I have a little deck of cards that show walks around the city, and I finally got around to doing it, as you can see... its a little grey and over cast today. not like yesterdays 80's and sunny... oh well.
There is a little park on the top of Queen Anne that is just a little flower garden, and it was the highlight of the walk.





this is a little over look across from the flower garden.



these next couple of shots are of a dew covered spider web, the sight of which I always find to be facinating and beautiful. What a terrible natural disaster for the spider, though.

Barack Obama's Cousin: Episode 1 - The Parking Spot Fight (Comedy)

What's my cancer doing 1 month or so past mastecomy.

Oh, last time I updated, it was all about clear margins, clean nodes. A positive outcome and a possible signal to the end of treatment. Just a little radiation, and we are good to go.

Well.

It's still good!

But, now that we are past the surgery, there are some addition things to think about, the tumor while non agressive, and typically non matastising, it was large, 7cm x 5cm x 3cm, now my arguement is my boob was pretty big, so proportionally, that's not terrible, right. Well, it is good....
But they want me to get chemo, and radiation, they will want the tamoxifen too, but I don't think so at this point.
So, here is their reasoning, chemo plus radiation is recommended if, there is lymph node involvement (no), or not clear margins (mine where clear) or it's estrogen progesterin negative (mine are positve) or the tumor size is over 5cm.

One out of four. Crap!

So, pre surgery, we did some blood tests, to test for certain protein markers associated with my type of cancer, the CEA and the CA 15, I might have posted my numbers, anyway, I'll recap if I have.
My preop CEA was 31.5 or so, normal is between 0.0 to 5.0, my post op value is 6.5, still above normal, but greatly reduced, it might possibly continue to fall, or might normally be a bit high, it's still suspect, the CA-15, was high preop and is now in the middle of the normal range.
I did a bone scan yesterday morning, and everything is good there. Today I did a barium and contrast ct.

But even if everything is good - they are going to recommend chemo, because of it's size. I tried to get out it, but the truth seems to be- there isn't information of what happens if I don't do it, based on my tumor type, only that my "odds" "chances" "the statistics" are good if I do the chemo and radiation.

On one hand I feel railroaded - a commodity in the cancer factory, on another hand I just want it to be over, just do the fucking treatment, and I should be able to go about my business without a care in the world. At least about cancer.

So, that's the update.

Now, I guess I get to think of fun hat ideas.

Been a while!

I am doing very well, the drain is out, the healing has begun, the strength is back, I have a few flexibility issues because of the scar tissue.

I scheduled mopey-ness in for this last weekend, and I feel better for it, a little bit of wallowing... but its good.

All sorts of fun sensation is returning to the breast area, I say that a bit sarcastically, since all day yesterday I thought there was a hair poking and tickling me, but no... just one regrown nerve. But I am more annoyed by my armpit scar... deeply deeply thankful they did not have to remove all of my lymph nodes... I would have been more annoyed then, but its stretchy sore, and a bit lumpy and I am timid about shaving there, and afraid to get it waxed. We will have to wait and see how that turns out.

Friday is my oncology consultation, I am hoping against hope that they say no radiatin for you... but its the standard of care, so, I am out of luck there... Not sure why I am set against it, except its bad for your heart... I know it is better than it used to be, and its not even going to be internal at all, but, still...

To be honest, a bit of my reluctance is I am afraid of fitting it in to my work schedule, and a bit of whether it will make me so tired I will need some help to do my job, the ridiculous part is, mostly I am afraid I will look weak... to myself.

But anyway.... work is going well, its the most boring show backstage ever, and the next show is going to be a crazy crazy train wreck... Mostly because we have no boss... they hired one, he starts August 25th... and now they are dilly dallying about getting an interim, while we break the ill equipt assistant production manager, who is beginning to look tramatized. It doesn't help that he was trained by the promise the moon, deliver nothing previous production manager. In the play coming up, which is a remount of sorts, (we have the same designers as New York and Chicago, and some of the same props and costumes) we have to make the bits that didn't get sent to us, and build the set (our stage architechture is very different). So, what we got to work with set wise were some poorly made draftings of the original set "photoshopped" into our stage, with no specifics, so our Technical Director - made his own adjustments for better or for worse. Our Prop Master (my half step to the side boss) only got boxes of props from the Chicago run, some bottles still filled with water, and pictures of the props from Chicago. Right before the holiday weekend, he found out that the designer was unhappy with what Chicago had changed in the props, and wanted everything to look like they had in New York... oh... but we have no drawings or pictures of what those looked like... good times.

Oh... and another thing. I am doing the breast cancer 5k on Sunday... I have 15 people on my team... which I think is Awesome!!!